Why every pastor’s wife needs community (and how to find it!)

As a smart, strong, hard-working pastor’s wife, maybe you have been tempted to believe you can do it all – by yourself – without any help. While you could try going it alone, we’re here to tell you the challenging journey of ministry is so much more beautiful when you take it with people who the Lord has called to support you.

In Exodus 17, Moses relies on Aaron and Hur to help support his arms as he held the rod of God (a symbol of God’s power) in his hands while Joshua and the army of Israel went to battle. When Moses relied on his own two arms to lift the rod, his arms grew tired, the rod lowered, and the enemy prevailed in battle. But with support on each side, Moses was able to hold the rod of God high, his arms remained steady, and Israel’s army defeated their enemies.

Imagine what could have happened to Israel if Moses turned Aaron and Hur away when they came to assist him. Thankfully, Moses humbled himself and accepted their aid and the whole community benefited.

How often have you relied on your own strength to lead only to be left with loneliness, frustration, and less than great results? Have you ever said to yourself that you are too busy to slow down and ask for help? Have you missed or dismissed the very person the Lord placed in your life to help you?

Great leaders like Moses relied on the support of others to accomplish God’s calling and will for Israel. This was God’s design. In the same way today, pastors’ wives need the loving support of other believers in Jesus to serve well.

Here are 3 Starting Steps to Finding Support as a Pastor’s Wife:

1. Find Prayer Partners

“Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel” Ephesians 6:19

Follow Paul’s example and frequently ask for prayer while ministering to others. Put together a prayer team of trustworthy people of noble character. Decide on a way you will share your prayer concerns with one another. Then, establish a weekly or monthly rhythm where you come together and pray.

2. Be Transparent with Loving Friends

“the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” Proverbs 27:9b

It is essential that you find a godly friend or two that you can be real with. Healthy leaders must have a safe place to share fears, frustrations, and failures. True friends will be a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and they will offer genuine counsel when the time is right.

3. Choose a Wise Mentor

“teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5

Find a seasoned pastor’s wife you respect and ask her all manner of ministry-related questions. You can also join online communities where pastors’ wives gather. These are a great place to connect with women who understand your life and your calling. Join the Lois Evans Pastors’ Wives Ministry Facebook group here: loisevans.org/facebookgroup

To lead well, we can’t lead alone. It’s ok to team up with others as we build the Kingdom of God.

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